Sleepless in Seattle: Biscuit Bitch (Seattle, WA)

9:30:00 AM

I’ll Take My Biscuits With a Side of Attitude


Happy New Year! It’s hard to believe that it’s already 2016. I hope you had a fantastic and safe New Year and that your 2016 is kicking off on the right foot.

So let’s get right to it, we’re going back to Seattle as I recap a brunch place I visited on the last day at Seattle. If you haven’t read my first post on Seattle, you can grab a summary of why I came to Seattle and my experience at Pike Place Chowder at the link.


Biscuit Bitch is a tiny establishment located in downtown Seattle, not too far off from Pike Place Market. It shares the hole-in-the-wall notoriety with Caffe Lieto. So when you’re searching for Biscuit Bitch, you should really be looking for Caffe Lieto because nowhere does it says Biscuit Bitch on the outside.

They serve breakfast and brunch with a side of cheekiness. As the name suggest, it may not be a place you want to take your grandma unless she has a sense of humor. Then by all means, go ahead!


We came in around lunch time and this place was crackin’. There was a line out the door and people crammed into the small seating area inside. If you are claustrophobic, I say, sit outside while you have someone else order for you because it’s a tight squeeze in there between the coffee customers and the biscuit customers.

You have the cafe on your left, seating on the right and ordering for Biscuit Bitch, in the back. Whoever did the interior design shares the same sense of humor as me because it’s full of odd and ends: witty signs, figurines, baby pictures, posters and etc.

A huge chalk board is hung in the back with the full menu, but when presented with a long line (which will inevitably happen), just grab a paper menu located near the front door. It’ll save you time and it’ll save them time.

So dem biscuits? What did I order?


I got myself the Gritty Scrambled Cheesy Bitch, which is biscuit and gravy (classic country sausage gravy) smothered in cheese, scrambled eggs and garlic grits ($8.30).

Warning: This is not for one with a weak disposition. This baby packed a punch.

This isn’t your normal sized biscuit. We’re talking burger bun sized, split in half and with all the fixings. All the walking I did in Seattle over the past three days was built up for this moment. This glorious moment where I stuff myself silly with biscuit, gravy, eggs and grits.

And it was so worth it.

As expected, I couldn’t finish it. But I did eat all the fixings. So I call it a win in my book.


My other companions ordered the Easy Bitch, Hot Mess Bitch, Smokin’ Hot Bitch and the Cheesy Pork N’ Bitch. They aren’t messing around with the Hot Mess because there’s so much quantity that you can easily feed two people with that.

Note: The Louisiana Hot Link. HOT. VERY HOT.

So enjoy the bitches, but be warned, you may get bitch slapped by food coma.

How was your New Years? Are you struggling as much as I am on the first week back at work? I am a slave to caffeine, sugar and basically anything that will keep me awake and sane during the first few days back. Is your liver in recovery after too many drinks?

1901 1st Ave.
Seattle, WA 98101

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